Giles Gray

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Posts by Giles Gray

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  191

  Evolution is a Fact - Index of Parts 1 - 40

  by cofty in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  #1 protein functional redundancy comparing the sequences of amino acids in ubiquitous proteins confirms the relationship between all living things..

  #2 dna functional redundancy comparison of the dna that codes for the amino acids of ubiquitous proteins predicts the tree of life with an astonishing degree of accuracy..

  #3 ervs endogenous retroviruses that infected our ancestors are found in the same place of the genome of our closest primate cousins..

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  Giles Gray

  Fee-fi-fo-fum

  I smell a troll and he's rather dumb
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  46

  On the Subject of Demons, I Have a Story to Tell.

  by snugglebunny in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have posted the full story on a fb site.

  so my apologies to anyone who's already read it.

  some of what i've written is what was told to me by my father.

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  Giles Gray

  Loving your story.

  Please, keep em coming.
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  191

  Evolution is a Fact - Index of Parts 1 - 40

  by cofty in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  #1 protein functional redundancy comparing the sequences of amino acids in ubiquitous proteins confirms the relationship between all living things..

  #2 dna functional redundancy comparison of the dna that codes for the amino acids of ubiquitous proteins predicts the tree of life with an astonishing degree of accuracy..

  #3 ervs endogenous retroviruses that infected our ancestors are found in the same place of the genome of our closest primate cousins..

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  Giles Gray

  Nimble Duck:- "I know there are plenty of evolutionists here, and I know how they behave towards those who will not accept their nonsense. They are rude and forceful, just like the rest of the evolutionary society who rams their ideas down the throats of society and steamroll over anyone who objects."

  I don't see the problem. Religion has behaved forcefully and brutally for thousands of years. It's only fair that evolutionists have their turn.

  Interesting how theists don't like it when the boot is on the other foot. At least evolutionists won't kill you for disagreeing with their "nonsense".
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  33

  My parents found out

  by BlackWolf in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so in my last post i talked about how i had told my younger siblings how i didn't plan to get baptized or ever be a witness.

  i thought i could trust them but i guess i was wrong, they're just kids after all.

  my oldest brother (who's 11) told on me today.

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  Giles Gray

  BW:- " ...having to pretend all the time is miserable, especially since my parents still expect me to go in service."

  That's just terrible.

  Would it help to get a weekend job? You would be able to start saving money and you would be able to avoid the minisrty.

  You've broken the ice by informing them that you don't intend to be a JW. It would be responsible of you now to embark on becoming self-sufficient.
  

  It's a good first step to freedom and independence. Being proactive will help you cope with your present circumstances.

  If your parents have issue with it, explain to them that you are considering your own future. Would be a good way to demonstrate that you are an independent person deserving respect... a point they seem to be struggling with at the moment.

  More importantly, you will start setting your own boundaries. This will help empower you.
  
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  33

  My parents found out

  by BlackWolf in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so in my last post i talked about how i had told my younger siblings how i didn't plan to get baptized or ever be a witness.

  i thought i could trust them but i guess i was wrong, they're just kids after all.

  my oldest brother (who's 11) told on me today.

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  Giles Gray

  Moving out might not be such a good idea.

  Your parents, even though they are JWs, still love you as parents. Your aunt won't see you in the same way.

  If things don't work out with your aunt, you could be stuck a long way from home with very little.

  And imagine facing your parents if you have to move back home, not to mention that if you are short of money it will cost them to bring you home.

  You could easily end up in a situation where you are more obligated to your parents than you are now.

  You also owe it to your siblings to stay at home. One day, all that you are going through will come out. Your siblings will pick up on the fact that something is not right with you and the religious beliefs of your parents.

  The fact that you are taking a stand will leave an opportunity for them to approach you about it in the future, if they ever start to question.

  It can't be easy living in a 'North Korean' style family. As hard as that may be, you are learning some very valuable life skills right now. These will be such an asset when you finally do venture out into the big wide world.

  Hope you can hang in there.

  Edit to add:-

  I think you need to consider how far you are going to compromise your integrity. To be told to fake things for the rest of the family is such a liberty.

  I think you need to work out how far you are reasonably going to go. If your parents ask too much of you, it could be worth highlighting how hypocritical such demands would be. Can't imagine Jesus demanding anyone to act out faith when it was not believed. Such a preposterous scenario
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  20

  Dealing with Loneliness and Social Anxiety

  by NoviceLocs14 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hello, this is my 1st initiated post on this site, so i'm a bit nervous.

  i did search for similar topics on this site, but a lot of them have been inactive for several years, so here goes.... a little background, i was pretty much born in "da twoof", baptized at 17, pioneered for about 6 years, was part of the rbc part time, and was even in the foreign language field for the last 3 years i was a jw.

  so i pretty much had a pretty active social life within the organization due to being part of all of those things.

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  Giles Gray

  Hello Novice.

  The all too common results of leaving a religion like the JWs are the feelings you are experiencing. To feel devastated at the loss of your family and close friends is totally natural.

  Many people feel that there is a way of moving on and for those feelings to go away. They truth is that they don’t ever completely go away. Even after years, those feelings of sadness and loss can strike your heart, many times out of the blue.

  It is not all bad news though. There are some very positive things that can be done in order to compensate for what you have lost.

  The first thing is to make new friends. Even though you have been adopted by your husband’s family, this isn’t going to help you with your feelings of loneliness. You need your own friends for your esteem. In the back of your mind, they will have just accepted you for your tragic circumstances.

  As lovely as this is, you need people that want to be your friend because of who you are, not just because you are married to them in law. As you have found out, making friends and feeling comfortable when meeting new people is not at all easy. This might be because you have not fully recovered from being a JW yet.

  In this matter you have so many good things going for you. Ex-JWs have so many assets that help them achieve acceptance and friendship outside of the religion. The hardest part is recognising what you have to offer people. This is due to the horrible feelings of rejection you feel when you leave the Watchtower and the feelings of unworthiness that you naturally functioned with while you were an active JW.

  You need to heal to feel better and you need to feel better in order to heal. A catch 22. So you need to fake it to start with. This never feels good. In fact it can prove very uncomfortable as your post suggests. Nothing at all to worry about.

  You need to force yourself out of the security of your comfort zone and get out and meet new people and try new things. This will leave you feeling very uncomfortable and anxious, but these feelings are a great learning process that you can build on for the future. So try not to shy away from how you feel, as bad as it may seem at the time.

  When you try new things in the ‘world’ it is going to feel so desperately alien. You are going to feel like a fish out of water. In many situations you are going to feel awkward. This is to be expected. It is also a good gauge. When you try something and you feel awkward, it means that it is not necessarily for you. Be cautious not to write things off too soon though.

  It is important for you to try many things, things that you may think are not for you. This won’t be so easy when you have a family to look after, but it is such an important step to recovery. To find your niche outside of the organisation is of utmost importance. Your esteem lies there. Esteem is the biggest thing that will help you manage the feelings of loss of your family and friends.

  To be accepted outside of the JW religion will be the biggest aid in your recovery. Where that acceptance will be is difficult to know and might not be in a place that you expect.

  The other key in helping you take this first step is the knowledge that most people in the ‘world’ feel the same as you do, even though they have never been a JW or similar. When I first ventured out after leaving I was astonished at how many broken people there were out there. When you realise that you are not unique in feeling alien, it can help you challenge the feelings of being an oddball and aid you in feeling more acceptable to people. You then recognise what you have to offer the world outside.

  Once you find even a little acceptance outside in the ‘world’, your esteem will blossom quite quickly. Things will then snowball. You will feel more confident. The more confidence you feel, the more you will heal, leaving you with more ability to try more things. It will only be a matter of time before you find your all important niche in life outside of the organisation.

  There is more that could be said, but these are the bones of the road to recovery. Be as brave as you can be and don’t give up or relax into a life where you are not fully content.

  I wish you the very best.

  
  
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  11

  How do I get you to Visit my house

  by I have question in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  okay simply put i am not of your faith however my faith allows me to learn and study other people's beliefs and faith's.

  now i believe at least from what i have seen that you people are humble and respectful, when interacting with me.

  and that watchtower book thing u hand out has actually helped me in the past.... taught me that resentment only hurts me and not the person i resented, that was really needed at the time.

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  Giles Gray

  This is more of an ex-JW forum.

  Still worth sticking around and would be beneficial and insightful for finding out about the Watchtower beliefs I'm sure.
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  52

  Gas or Electric Stove

  by just fine in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am getting new appliances.

  i have decided on black stainless for the finish.

  the house is stubbed for gas and electric for the range.

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  Giles Gray

  Gas... just in case the JWs come knocking and you get the urge to stick your head in the oven.
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  24

  Uninvited...again...

  by Anders Andersen in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so a week or so ago we received an invitation for a jw friend's wedding anniversary party in the mail.it was addressed to 'the andersen family' (and not just mrs. andersen & baby andersen) which was pleasant of course, but not a huge surprise given the type of person who said friend is.. however, i already prepared myself to be uninvited after all.

  some time ago, there was a congregation farewell party/get-together.to my surprise, i was invited too!

  an elder specifically came over to my house to tell me.then some weeks later, he visited again, being terribly sorry but the invitation was revoked as the congregation got concerned over my possible presence.. with that debacle in mind, i wasn't surprised to receive a message from my friend 'hey are you at home?

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  Giles Gray

  AA:- "I would have gone. JW rules do not apply to me and I will not have my decisions influenced by their bullshit manipulation and abuse."

  No wonder you were not invited. With that kind of attitude... It's just not cricket!

  AA:- " Other never-JW people will be at the party too. Apparently they are much better company than I am"

  Their loss is our gain. Spoilsports.

  Hope those points you made open your wife's mind just a little.
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  24

  Uninvited...again...

  by Anders Andersen in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so a week or so ago we received an invitation for a jw friend's wedding anniversary party in the mail.it was addressed to 'the andersen family' (and not just mrs. andersen & baby andersen) which was pleasant of course, but not a huge surprise given the type of person who said friend is.. however, i already prepared myself to be uninvited after all.

  some time ago, there was a congregation farewell party/get-together.to my surprise, i was invited too!

  an elder specifically came over to my house to tell me.then some weeks later, he visited again, being terribly sorry but the invitation was revoked as the congregation got concerned over my possible presence.. with that debacle in mind, i wasn't surprised to receive a message from my friend 'hey are you at home?

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  Giles Gray

  AA:- "I explained to him what a disgusting practice it is to try and force people into a religion by using emotional blackmail. That's it's very hypocritical to send letters to Putin demanding freedom of religion, yet refusing to allow others their freedom."

  Great point.

  Hope that got him and your other half thinking.

  I might have to ask the JWs that question.

  I'm dying to know... would you have gone if you were invited?